Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
