if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
