we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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