We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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