Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i just google imaged poop.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
