Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
