Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I love you.
Bad choice
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