you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
