I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
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