My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
