I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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