i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
