Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
that is very illegal...i love you.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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