did you get engaged???
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
