No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
