You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Randomize
