maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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