the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
