Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
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