i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
