so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
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