i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
