Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
