Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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