I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
