so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
