you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Randomize