if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
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