She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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