I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
