i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
