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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
