he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
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