There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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