Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
please come you make the beer taste better
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
