Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
