I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
