I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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