He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
