i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
