My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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