Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
