Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
