My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'm bleeding and have questions
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
