D3 body, D1 cock
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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