I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
