By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
My ATM looks so different sober.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Randomize