dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
