we have officially lost it.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
