Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize