We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
