So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
