i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
We left the knife in your bed.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Randomize
