I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
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