Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
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